What does it mean to love yourself? How does one go about loving themselves? Where do you even begin on this journey? All of these are questions that have been pondered throughout recent years and are finally starting to be answered.
Self-love is known to be one’s appreciation, care, affection, and love for oneself. Not only does self-love include the positive thoughts that you have about yourself, but it also includes specific principles. These principles include: prioritizing yourself and your needs, speaking kindly to yourself, freeing and forgiving yourself of the past, and protecting yourself and other areas of your life.
Those who have experienced an immense amount of hardships and trauma find self-love to be a difficult obstacle to tackle. This can be tied back to many factors, such as broken trust during a relationship, not experiencing physical or emotional comfort with a parent during childhood, or other circumstances leading you to question your self-worth.
As someone who has suffered from anxiety, my empathy for those with a detrimental mindset and mental health issues are prominent. However, it is possible to ease through the clouds of negativity that haze one’s mind and start living a life of consistent peace and happiness.
At first, the idea seems laughable; how can one rewire and overcome their thoughts to be more positive? The idea seems almost impossible at first, but that is because of a term known as “self-concept.”
It’s crucial to note that self-concept and self-esteem are not synonymous. Instead, self-concept is defined as the beliefs one holds about themselves and the responses of others. Self-concept can differ depending on different areas of your life. For example, someone can have a positive self-concept when it comes to school, believing that they are smart, all their teachers love them, and they always get outstanding grades. Yet, they could have a negative self-concept regarding love, believing that they are unlovable and not deserving of affection. Due to this, it’s imperative to have a general and positive self-concept, which will evidently lead to positivity flowing through every aspect of one’s life.
So how do you go about fixing your self-concept? There are a plethora of methods and opportunities to take up; however, there’s two methods, in my experience, that has been the most effective of all: replacement and mirror work.
The subconscious mind is most active during sleep, the moments before you fall asleep, and right after waking up. It is key to take advantage of these time-frames, and utilize the method of replacement during them.
Before going to sleep or after waking up, look inside any mirror and say positive affirmations out loud, this is the process known as mirror work. Mirror work is so effective because the mirror reflects the feelings that you have about yourself, and it makes the process feel more believable.
Positive affirmations are the key component in the process of fixing self-concept, saying and repeating affirmations has been shown to have psychological effects as well. Affirmations activate the area of the brain that is responsible for self-processing and valuation. Furthermore, this leads to successful outcomes and a vast amount of progress made in terms of rewiring negative thoughts.
Although mirror work is extremely effective, it won’t have its lasting effects throughout the day if you do it only one or two times a day, then continue to waver in negative thoughts and continue to have a negative state of mind.
To make sure that the effects of both mirror work and affirmations are fully-beneficial, it’s crucial to execute the process of replacement as well. Simply meaning, replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts. Any time a negative thought arises, immediately think of a positive thought that counters that statement.
An example of this can be:
I’m so ugly, I feel so worthless → I’m so beautiful, I am deserving of everything I want.
Many might find this process to be difficult at first, however, with more repetition, it will prevail. Mirror work, affirmations, repetition, replacement, along with discipline, will do wonders to your mental health and fully rewire your self-concept to be entirely positive.
Practicing self-care is also an essential component in maintaining a positive mindset and self-love, some examples of self-care can be:
Practicing gratitude (improves overall mood and helps to build strong relationships)
Having a routine of any sorts (skin care, hair care, or even a work/school routine)
Exercise (even a small walk everyday helps with improving mood and feeling more positive).
Overall, overcoming a negative mindset requires a lot of discipline, but the reward is extremely worthwhile. The power of affirmations, mirror work, repetition, and replacement is incredibly strong, and will provide nothing but the goal of a positive self-concept, inevitably leading to love of yourself. Using this discipline everyday is especially important, since loving yourself helps you to form a foundation for a more fulfilling, happier, and healthier life. Not only that, but with a good self-concept and self-love, you will reach the best version of yourself that previous circumstances and the shackles of negativity have prevented you from achieving.
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