What does it mean to be kind? Why is kindness so significant when interacting with someone?
Kindness, by definition, is the “quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate.” It’s often confused with the adjective nice, which means “pleasant, agreeable, delightful.” The primary difference between the two is that the state of being nice is acting in a pleasing manner that makes one seem like a “good person” and ultimately gets others to like oneself. Acts of kindness are in the other party's best interest without expecting anything in return.
However, acts of kindness aren’t always easy. Sometimes, being overwhelmed, in a bad mood, or in other circumstances in life can impact our ability to be kind. Such cases can make us reluctant to be kind, especially when someone else was not kind to us first. Therefore, it’s best to avoid being reactive and saying/doing something you don’t mean in these cases. Some people also face obstacles internally. The fear of being misunderstood, rejecting our kindness, or even doing it wrong can prevent someone from being kind.
Additionally, kindness is something to be taught and practiced, but it doesn’t mean it will always be easy. When they are young, children need to learn what it means to be kind by understanding what kindness is, having someone model kindness, and being encouraged to have kind habits. What they have learned, among other things, directly affects their control over being kind.
Kindness isn’t always straightforward and is expressed in various ways. For example, doing something small like holding the door open for someone or something far more memorable like telling an acquaintance or stranger they matter. Kindness can be giving compliments, showing gratitude, and simply being respectful. Spreading kindness has a profound effect on creating a significantly more positive community. It can boost the receiver’s confidence, happiness, and optimism. In turn, this encourages the receiver to spread kindness to others. The doers themselves will also benefit from their kind actions. It can improve their mood for themselves, help with overall mental health, and reduce stress. More importantly, kindness can reduce isolation and increase the sense of belonging.
Loneliness and social isolation are a concern for many people though it’s especially prevalent among disabled people. Social isolation is when one has limited interactions with other people throughout their daily lives. Isolation can lead to a variety of health outcomes:
Loneliness
Depression
Poor sleep quality
Accelerated cognitive decline
Signs and symptoms of social isolation can include:
Not having any close friends or best friends
Having feelings of self-doubt or self-worth
Inability to connect with others or on a deeper level
Feelings of isolation no matter where or who you’re with
Feeling unseen or unheard
Feeling burnt out or exhausted from trying to engage socially
People with disabilities face obstacles that hinder their ability to form relationships, and it leads to them experiencing feelings of isolation. Such obstacles are:
Mobility: PWD(people with disabilities) can require the use of wheelchairs or other assistive devices, which can make it challenging to get around and interact socially. In some cases, a person with a disability may need assistance with transportation.
Communication: They may also use assistive technology, devices, or forms of communication with others. However, it can make it challenging to communicate, especially if others don’t know the best method of communication. Individuals who are deaf or have hard hearing, blindness or low vision, or intellectual disabilities can pose communication barriers
Perception: PWD can be perceived negatively and not treated with respect, leading to feelings of loneliness, low self-worth, and being unwanted. Although one may be respectful, one can treat PWD differently without realizing it.
Employment: PWD don’t always have the opportunity to hold a job, and therefore they can’t interact with coworkers like most people do, which is one way people socialize daily.
Talking to PWD is a significant way to battle isolation by letting them know they have a friend and aren’t alone. For example, in Spread The Love, we write letters or make encouraging notes for children with disabilities. Each letter helps us get acquainted with each other and become pen pals! In general, these are kind things you can do:
Listen with compassion
Talk to them if you can and without talking down
Be inclusive
Don’t make assumptions
Don’t be intrusive
Support a disability-serving charity
Find commonalities instead of differences
Don’t treat them differently as you would any other person
On the other hand, being kind to yourself is just as important. Usually, we are our own worst critics thus being kinder to yourself will improve how you view yourself. Moreover, it can boost your mental health and self-esteem, and promote a more growth mindset. A few ways to practice being kind to yourself are:
Point out the things you like about yourself rather than the parts you don’t
Journaling emotions, thoughts, and experiences
Reciting affirming statements
Follow along to guided meditation
Practice mindfulness
More importantly, pay attention to when you talk bad about yourself!
Be mindful the next time you interact with someone, and remember to be kind to yourself too! Acts of kindness can always help those who are struggling and positively impact your community!
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